My Son
by TinoJako
Summary: About Sweden's son, showing some historical scenes from viking age to the present days. Pairings, SuNor, DenSu, and little SuFin.  slight SuRus


**My**** Son**

I am walking in the snow. It is the middle of winter. I am used to it. I can't feel pain. I know, my legs and arms are frostbitten. The land is beautiful. I can't see forests, only the endless landscape, that is covered by snow. The sun lights are playing on it, and the snow is shining like a diamond. I feel so happy. But the only one thing makes me happy…

- Min son.

The sun is setting down, I am in hurry to find a place to hide. Wolves could come out in the night. I have no weapon, only a stick. But I was more scared of the Clouds I saw on the sky, coming toward us. It's an upcoming snowstorm. I need to hide, make fire, before it's too late. I reach a river. I looked around, when I saw some rock, that could help us to survive the storm. I moved the huge broken tree, helping to cover us, and I try to use deadwood to make some fire for two of us. We need to survive.

- We will die?

He asked on his little voice, I shake my head, grab him, and place him on my lap. The small fire gives us some warmness. I gave my little son my gloves.

- Warm?

I ask him, he just smiles. He is so nice. I hope this moment will be forever. He is my little and cute son, but I can't take him home.

- Novgorod.

He just looks at me. I can't say any words anymore. I placed my arms around him, to give more warmness to him. He is just a child, I can't let him die by coldness.

I wake up first, he is still sleeping. I stand up, leave my warm coat on him. I walk around. I feel this is a nice place. I get some new wood, and make a little boat. He wake up, come to me, and ask what I am doing. I told him everything. I like working with wood. The wood helps me to travel fast around the world. He is like a god on earth. No, it's not god, it is a present from my gods to see the world.

I feel sadder. The boat is for me. Only for me. I finished it before sunset. The Weather were very nice, finally the spring is back. The ice melted away from the river.

- Novgorod. This is your land. - I pat my son's head, he was smiling. - You have to be strong. You are a country.

- Country?

- Yes. That means you can do anything you want. Just be Strong. Everyone will help you, or serve you if you are strong… Ah, forget it. You have to know what is right. Don't harm anyone. And make happy, who you love.

- … Be Strong… - he repeated my words quietly.

I felt this is our last night together. I taught him a lot…

-o-o-o-o-o-

- SU-SAN! – I heard a voice from afar.

I run as fast as I could.

- Stop, there, or I'll shoot your "wife" down.

I stop as he said. I was scared. He was holding Finland with one arm, while He is holding a gun in his hand. He pointed the gun at victim's head, who was near to cry.

- Russia… - I said quietly. – let him go…

- Why would I do that? I am strong I can do anything I want. Oh and I want HIM to become one with me.

He started caress Finland with his gun. I see his scared face. I am more scared. "Don't harm anyone". How could I stop him? If I move, he will shoot him. I look around to find another way, but when I look back, I see, Russia's gun is pointed at me. I step back one.

- Good. Go back to your home, and accept, he is mine.

- Su-san!

I can't do anything. He won't harm Finland. I am sure of it. I feel like that. I fall on my knees. I looked down. I have to do so. Everyone is in silence.

- S-Su-san…? No… YOU CAN'T GIVE IT UP!

- Take care of him…

I can't say those two words. He can remember me?

- I will.

I can't look up. I just hear the noises that Finland make, while he is trying to get free. But he gives it up. He realized I thought so.

-o-o-o-o-o-

I feel so empty, I am just sitting in my room alone. I hear my door is opening and closing. I don't look back. The person, who came in, was careful. He is not an enemy. Enemies not like that. I hear that person is coming close to me. I feel his arms crosses around gently my neck from behind.

- Why are you here?

I ask, but I don't get answer. I won't get it.

- Being alone is so boring.

He said with his clear voice that sounded like he is singing. I loved to hear his voice. I wanted him to talk to me more. I turn around and his face was close to mine.

- Why?

I ask back. He walks around my chair and stand in front of me. He is the one who I take care of. He has no boss. He is just a country with me. I want him to be happy. I don't make him one with me. I let him live his life under my control.

- Norway.

- Do you happy?

I look down. I can't be happy. How could I be? I always lose everything I love. I feel I will lose you too Norway. Denmark will get you back. I look back at him, he shake his head.

- I know you don't like me. Why do you want me? Just let me go!

- Without Boss, you are weak.

- You think so? I will find one!

- I can't let you go. It is the best for you.

I catch his wrist, and hold is hard. He tried to escape his hand. I see he has pain. I don't let it go yet. I want to show him something. I stand up and walked out from the room with him. He just run after me, I felt, He tried to stop me. I stop in front of my room's door. I open the door and look at him. He had fear on his face. I close my eyes, and then push him in. I need to have connection with him. I control him now. He has no other choice, but follows my orders.

-o-o-o-o-o-

I heard about him. He is free. It is so good to hear. The World War is over, but this is not the end. I feel there are more upcoming wars. I don't want them. Not anymore. The Wars made me Pain. Losing the one I loved was the most terrible. I have nothing I could lose. I can't win either.

As I felt, the war is here. I become neutral and protect myself from other countries' attack. I let some of them go through my lands, but nothing more. I hear news about Finland. He has wars with Russia. It is so painful for me. I know Russia is very strong, and Finland will not able to stand against him.

- No, Sweden, I don't need you!

Finland's words are hurting me.

- I have plans. I have some soldier, and all of them are good. We make trap for Russia. I kill him. He won't be able to catch me again!

No. Something is wrong with him. He is not that kind person I knew. He is more serious. He does not really care about me. He wants to live his own life. He is not weak. He is small and strong. Or I could say he is smarter. He can do it alone. I get a paper and write down:

"If you need help, I'm always here."

I leave this paper on his desk. I walk to the door. With one eye I see, he lifts the paper, read it, and looks at me. I nod at him, and leave his room.

-o-o-o-o-o-

- Hey, Su-san! You know, I was thinking a lot. You know. The world is changing, we need something to go the sea to reach easier!

- Fuck off, Denmark!

I try to push him away from my way.

- But think of it. It is cheaper! We have one bridge between us. More comfortable!

- Hmm.

- See? I told ya!

I am thinking about it. He had right. I want to think about it. But he does not let me go. He starts to be more irritating I grabbed him in face and pushed him down. He shuts up, and let me go. I know He will be back.

Many years went by. The Bridge is finally up. Our bosses opened it. He can come over any time… More mess because of him. He moved into my side. Only one house, but I can't look at it with good eyes. I want him to leave. I sigh. There is no way to make him move away.

-o-o-o-o-o-

- I don't believe in you! You just let Russia to take me, and then you get Norway-san instead of me. Then there is that bridge between you and Denmark-san! You dare to say you love me, when you did this all? What did you do for me? Nothing! But now you want to marry me!

Finland was so angry at me now. I feel so rejected. It was bad idea. I wanted it. My bosses didn't say anything. It is my choice. I want him back. He won't. Many years I noticed HE changed Finland. Russia is not like I image. Finland told me many things that he did while he was living with Russia.

- I'm sorry, Fin. You misunderstand it. Norway NEEDED me.

He looks at me. He wants to hear more. I never told him about this. I tell him shortly. He understands it and nods.

- But why did you give up? You never told me! You just let me go with Russia. I wanted to be with you!

I look down sad. I have to tell him now? I have no other choice.

- I believed in him. I wanted to end the war.

- Why me?

- "If you were a dad, you would give anything to your son?"

- Don't tell me… He is your son? No, it can't be! I… Wait, before we've met, you had a son, but you never told me? – I nod – but if you have a son, I will be his "step-mother"? You know he WANTS me. What if he wants me again?

- Say to him, "I'm your mother".

- But… I don't want to be a mother. He accepts you as father?

I don't say a word. Slowly I shake my head. I see he is relieved. He don't want child anymore? I don't understand him.

-Anyway. If you and Denmark could have bridge, I want one too!

- But you can over any time. We are in touch.

- Then we can't have?

- Åland would not like it.

- He would not mind a bridge between you and him! He likes you.

- But you…?

- That is true, BUT I know a better place. I thought about Merenkurkku, between Vaasa and Umeå.

- Hmm.

- But it would be very expensive. Don't you think? – I nod – Give me time for your question… and sorry, but I have to go now.

- Where…?

- I promised Russia to drink vodka together.

- Take care of him…

- I will. He is not like "his father", but I know how to deal with him.

Finland runs off. I shake my head. I found him, he was newborn, and I raised, but I had to leave him there… I look out from my window. Everything is covered by snow. I still can see Finland Walking away. The spring is here soon. But I won't go anywhere, anymore…

Novgorod…


End file.
